My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
