is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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