dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize