He asked me if I "almost moaned"
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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