My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
