My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
We have so much sex to catch up on
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
