I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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