honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
