You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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