nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
