I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
