what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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