She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
