just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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