Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
