don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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