I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
