She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
