I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize