i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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