You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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