last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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