If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
No more Irish car bombs ever.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
