To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
True college students do jello shots in the library
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