At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
