Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Buhtt sex?
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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