i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
