The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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