You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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