I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
