I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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