That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
