I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
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