Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics â¤ï¸
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
