I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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