so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize
