got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
