My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize
