i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
