Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
