But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
