When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
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