i don't like sucking hair
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
