I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
