that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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