John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
If I die, sorry about rent.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
