Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
