Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize