He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
