Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
