Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Randomize
