There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Randomize
