i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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