I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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