pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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