my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
That was an excessively violent trivia night
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
