OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
