do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
