just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
