Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
