try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize