Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
this will be a night to untag.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Randomize
